DATING

7 First Date Tips When You Finally Meet Your Online Match

I will be using non-binary pronouns “they/them/their” throughout the blog because online dating apps, and love is for everyone: LGBTQIA+, the straight girls and fine, the straight guys too.

So you’re finally going to meet each other in the real world. Instead of pictures, chats, and phone or video calls, you’re finally gonna see them face to face.

Photo by Andie Venzl on Pexels.com

How will it be like talking to them in person without the agony of having to wait for their replies? Will the two of you click like you did during those late night conversations ending only until one of you accidentally falls asleep? Shouldn’t you be excited that they finally asked you out or they said yes when you asked them? Be careful now. The more expectations you build up, the more likely you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment.

Do you really know the person you’re meeting?

You see, there are different sides to one person. In Online Dating, what you can see is limited to what’s in your phone. You see what the person chooses to display in their profile or how they present themself through the pictures and the words they use in your chat. You may feel like you know everything about the person even before meeting them, but you don’t.

We can get carried away painting up a fantasy inside our heads of the perfect person and an ideal future. Your similarities and simple coincidences feel like destiny, just like what you’ve seen in the movies. It’s never like that though. We’re probably wrong if we think too far ahead. Things might be better or they might be worse and we’re just gonna have to see.

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I’m no expert and these are merely suggestions based on experiences

I cannot give any sure advice on how to land romantic relationships from just a first date. There’s a lot more to that I’m sure. But, I’ll be giving some suggestions that will help you get to know your date better. Yes, I haven’t had any relationships yet, but that doesn’t mean that all of my dates were bad. There were a lot of good ones where I have gotten to know a lot of incredible people and had a great time.

7 First Date Tips When You Finally Meet Your Online Match

It is fun getting to know people. You may or may not like the outcome by the end of the date, but of course you’ll want the both of you to enjoy, right? These tips will help you get there.

1. Be Yourself

Always be yourself. This is the most important rule of all. Don’t try too hard or feel like you’re putting on a performance because that can really get exhausting. Be honest and don’t pretend to be something or someone you’re not, for anyone. Smile bright and have confidence in what you look like and who you are. Be candid and let your personality shine. You’re on a date because they want to learn more of you, the real you.

2. Eliminate Expectations and Be Open

Have zero expectations when you go into dates to keep the pressure off and avoid disappointment. Just be open and go along with the flow. Some people may be great in chat, but kind of shy in person and vice versa. Don’t judge a person right away because there’s probably more to them than that. Remove the mindset that they’re supposed to prove something to you. They’re not. The only thing they’re supposed to be is themself and you have to allow that.

3. Plan Ahead

It is best to come up with plans already of where to go and what to do before your date. Both of you are probably anxious when you see each other and it will only get worse if you’re not prepared so better have options to suggest.

For safety reasons, I suggest having first dates in public. You can have dinner or watch a movie. I prefer coffee shops though because you’ll really get a chance to get to focus on the person without distractions. Strolls are also the best while sharing funny stories and facts about one another. Anywhere that has a light and chill ambiance so you can really take things easy.

4. Break the Ice Right Away

So they’re here. They finally made it and you’re seeing him face to face. Of course, it is a shock and both of you are probably nervous. You need to break the tension right away. Don’t wait around and let the awkwardness ensue. Fight it.

I suggest making jokes and saying something that will make it seem that you two are not strangers. Ask a simple question and allow them to respond. You have to make it seem that you’re comfortable so that they’ll be comfortable. Ask them about their day and then share about how yours went. Don’t be afraid to take the lead because you can.

5. Hide your Phone Away and Establish Eye Contact

Look them in the eye. Put your phone away. They’re already in front of you, why are you still checking your phone? Maintain eye contact and listen to what they’re saying. Also don’t be afraid to smile because you are prettier when you do. Be in the moment and connect with the person. You may have so much fun talking that you won’t even notice the time pass by.

6. Get to Know Him Again from Scratch

It is alright to ask again or talk about the things you’ve already discussed in the chat. Think of this as a fresh start and getting to know the person all over again. You’ll get to see the expression of the person while they talk about their stories. You may go deeper into the topics or get insight that you weren’t able to get from them online. You’ll also learn more than what they’re saying because you can feel the emotion behind their words.

Have you watched movies like That Thing Called Tadhana or Before Sunrise where during the 1-hour-and-a-half-long movie, the characters basically just talk to one another but it’s still entertaining and heartfelt? Yup, that’s what I’m kind of describing.

7. Try to Keep Things Light First Until Things Feel Natural

This used to be my problem. I tend to overshare and treat my dates like therapy sessions. I feel like I’ve told my whole life story to the guy, without giving him much room to talk. Do not do that, okay? Hahahaha.

Keep things light at first and do not force heavy topics if none of you are ready for it. Allow the person to talk as well and let them feel like they can say anything they want to. If both of you are comfortable enough and everything feels natural and then you’ll get there, a place of understanding and fascination.

Do you think these tips will help you? I hope they would!

I’m not sure if my suggestions can personally help you. I’m gay, and I’m sure it is different for hetero dating and relationships. But, I do think that we all just need to be ourselves and have some fun right?

Trust your intuition. If there’s magic and fireworks and all of that romantic stuff between the two of you, you’ll definitely feel it. Revel at the moment and enjoy, sweetie. There’s nothing as wonderful as two individuals captivated by one another, like they’re the only two people in the world.

It’s totally up to you. You got this!

Whether or not you’ll like the person and have a second date or a full-blown relationship is honestly up to you two. I guess, a bit of luck plays into that as well, right? Don’t be in a rush to find your true love because it will come in the perfect time. Just be open, have fun and take life’s chances because you’ll never really know if that perfect time is actually now.

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Thoughts:

Abby Sung
Great tips! There’s nothing wrong with online dating as long as we know how to be careful. Hope you’ll meet your soulmate soon.

Prado Arturo Navarro Bognot
I agree with #2. Eliminate Expectations and Be Open and #3. Plan Ahead. People always put their best foot forward when presenting themselves online. So you keep your expectations low… like really loooow, haha

WanderWoMom
hahaha yung totoo di ako marunong makipag date wahahahha!!! XD never na din ako natuto. pero i got married LOL how ironic.

Rowena Rose Conde
I havent tried any sort of 1st time dating for almost 7 years coz I found my forever date 😊 but I should agree with eliminating your expectation during your first date or with other things in life. Expectations usually ruin a situation before it willl to happen

Hazy Wanders
Aww I like your tips! And gusto ko yung reference mo about the movies that thing called tadhana and. before sunrise! Oo nga, puro usap yun pero not at all boring! So dapat ganun din in real life 😀

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2 replies »

  1. Okay Noted po haha. Ako kasi yung last relationship ko, sa facebook lang kami nag kakilala it took hmm 3 months bago kami nagkita sa personal. Then naisip ko baka di na ko ichat after ng meet up namin. AHAHA umabot kami ng 4 years. huhu tapos ayun TOTGA ko na hahaha. Siguro sa tips na ito hindi na ako magooverthink kung ano nang mangyayari na sunod. I guesss haha

    Like

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