I’m Christian Foremost, a Filipino Blogger/Writer/Podcaster and mental health advocate who writes personal stories of growth, life advice, and refreshing perspectives to inspire you to love yourself. I promote daily journaling as a healthy outlet to express and explore one’s honest thoughts and feelings. The path towards self-discovery and actualization starts by acknowledging your truths and facing your problems head-on.
Me? Desperate for Love?
Guilty! I’m the type of friend who would complain again and again about wanting a romantic partner. I want to experience falling in love like the way they show in books and movies. I want that so bad and I’m ready. I’ve checked the self-love box and I’m fully capable of sorting out my issues on my own. I don’t need anyone to complete me so yeah, now is actually about the best time for my soulmate to come into the picture so we can spend happily ever after together. Let me pour all my love and affection into another person because there are lots to spare!
But nope…. It’s not that easy and the fact of the matter is, not everybody wants that love and affection you’re willing to give. Nobody wants attachments and the work of an actual relationship. A lot of people are afraid of commitment and run the other way at the mere mention of plans for the future. Promises are nothing but lies, and expectations lead straight to disappointments. Can you believe that at our age, most people are still immature, and treat dating like a game of “who breaks the most hearts win”?
It Doesn’t Get Better
It’s also doesn’t help to be an overthinker. My mind works so fast that I’ve already imagined an entire future with the guy I’m talking to before he’s even gotten to telling me his last name. The longer you talk with someone, the more paranoid you get because you know it’s only going to hurt more when everything ends out of nowhere. And of course, it ends like that because it always does and you’re used to it.
And, you can only get left behind and have your heart broken enough times until you eventually give up on the idea that there’s actually someone meant for you. The only thing you’ll probably have for forever is yourself and maybe a temptation to adopt a cat or seven. Hahaha.
Aside from the trust and abandonment issues I’ve developed so far, a pressing concern that may seem obvious to you guys at this point is my impatience. When I set my mind on something like a goal, the hard work begins, and there is no way that I won’t get what I want. And I have to tell you, this does not work at all when it comes to dating. If who you want doesn’t want you back, there’s no point no matter how much work or effort you put in. You’re basically just hurting yourself.
Over it. So Over It!
So now, it’s time for some real talk. I’m tired of feeling sorry for myself for something I can’t have. I’m exhausted from wasting my energy hoping that the guy I’m talking to might also want a relationship. I’m done letting people in when they have no intention of staying for longer than a second.
Let’s forget about all of that and shift our perspective entirely. Being single is actually great and finding someone to be in a relationship with shouldn’t be a goal! Maybe it’s even better to be single for as long as you can?
I’m not saying that you should turn into the people who hurt you, even if that sounds like what’s happening to me. It’s not like that. My point is you shouldn’t feel less about yourself just because it seems like the majority of the male population doesn’t like you back. Be proud of who you are and know that whoever you end up being with will be the luckiest guy in the world. If someone doesn’t discover and appreciate your worth, better not waste your time on them. Reserve your heart for someone who actually deserves you.
Enjoy Being Single While You Can
Take advantage of the freedom you have and go after everything you want out of life. Pursue your passion and kill it at work. Make big purchases and spoil yourself with material things because there’s nothing holding you back. You’ve got no one to worry about but only yourself and your own problems. There’s no need to care about anything else ~
Being single also doesn’t mean that you’re alone. You’ve got your friends and family, and you can still go on dates. Continue dating and meeting people without any expectations at all. Always keep it chill and go along with the flow. If they leave, let them. If they only want to play, go and have some fun…
When someone comes along with a pure intention of being in a relationship with you, they’ll make an effort to be with you. Never settle for the bare minimum, and know that you deserve to receive as much love as you give, if not more. Love will come and things may not go according to plan, but you figure it out as you go along. Let falling in love be a slow journey with time strengthening your bond together.
Don’t close any doors, but don’t go waiting by the front porch for your destiny to finally come home. Go and live your life indoors and outdoors doing things that you love and enjoy with people you care about. Good things will come into your life. That is for sure. Just let them surprise you, okay?
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I was single for more than 2 years and I was very happy, I loved my peace and not putting up with some bull**** but last year I met someone special and he is the most adorable person I know.
Be patient. Darating si Mr. Right. Promise. lol
True I agree dapat habang single tayo ay ienjoy natin ito and do things na gusto natin and ikakasaya natin but dont destroy your future and it doesnt mean na alone ka kapag single ka dahil andyan padin ang mga friends and family to love you. Dont rush things. Darating yan sa tamang panahon☺️😍❤️
OMG this is in point! I can related to all of the things that’s been said here, as this has been like my mantra for the last decade. Haha!
I’ve actually been enjoying my single life for a while now. There have been times where I would like to share my love with someone (but it’s rare…lol) It’s a sense of freedom and independence that I love.
I say enjoy it ; )
Being single was fun. I had figured out that I was going to remain single and stopped searching for the right guy. When I stopped looking for “the one”, he showed up! Enjoy your life — no matter what stage you are in!
Completely agree, a lot of people are afraid of commitment. Being single has it’s own set of advantages and never rush to jump into a relationship without being completely healed.
what you have derscribed makes very logical sense. Being single and taking the pleasures of life and following our goals and desires as amplified by you beautifully in your post is something that we all should look forward to
I enjoyed every bit of my single years. Being an only child and an introvert, I do like being alone most of the time so it’s no problem to me not being in a relationship during those years. Being single is perfectly fine as long as you are okay with it, too.
before me and my hubby got back together, I was kind of cynical na about love hahahahahhaha!!! palaging me hugot and all and i think yung feeling na bakit yung sila eh.. not into me.. ugh… hahahahahahaha its not written in the stars ika nila…
Love is a complicated emotion but worth all the pain. Treasure the joy and experience, and be thankful that it came your way.
I can relate as an overthinker, I once lost a good thing because of this. I already imagined the whole scenario up to the point that, this someone already left me without giving a fair shot. Awts.
Masaya magkaroon ng partner na susuportahan ka pero paano kung hindi di ba? Kaya enjoy lang ang life darating din ang tamang tao for you.
Enjoy being single and don’t rush to jump into a new relationship. You will become a better person and more ready to have the ‘real one’. You will eventually meet that person along the way.
Honestly, I’ve been in several relationship wherein pakiramdam ko nawawalan ako ng freedom just to keep us both together. Although, I agree that we have to enjoy while we are single (bec yun naman din ginagawa ko while I was single). It’s also beautiful to find someone who supports in everything you do. Para bang nagkaroon ka lang ng supporter in a form of partner. Wala ang cute lang! 😀 Growing separately but together. Ayieee!
Absolutely right, being single doesn’t mean you’re alone. Enjoy your youth and do whatever pleases you at the moment. Experience it all so when the time comes you can just say, been there done that. And that’s how you know you are beyond the what ifs.
In today’s situation, It is better to be single lang. Less complication and you can have so much time with yourself. Time will tell if andyan na sya. Lagi lang ask God yung tamang tao para sayo. If it will come good, if not still good.
True. Don’t rush and if you are single now, then just enjoy being single. True love waits.
Enjoy being single. Do things what you wanted kasi pag in-relationship ka na. hindi mo na magagawa lahat ng walang kontra. Unless makahanap ka ng taon kaya kang sabayan.
Tbh, I haven’t stayed single for so long between times I have been in a relationship. I don’t regret it though. I am happy with my relp now. To my single friends, time will come talaga. 🙂 Hehe
I agree sa lahat lalo na sa enjoy being single while you can , take advantage of the freedom you have kse my chance na kapag taken kana ung mga gusto mo d mo na mggwa pa or di na pwede gawin . Kaya dapat wag natin ikalungkot kung single tayo ikasaya natin ito . Ang sarap kaya maging single ngagawa natin ung mga gusto natin 🤗❤️