Hey, if you want to finally put yourself out there and meet new people, trying online dating apps like Tinder, and Bumble is actually a good idea. And with the pandemic forcing us to be quarantined inside our own homes, there’s less of a chance of meeting new people in the real physical world. With online dating apps, you have a line up of people to go through right there on your phone. Through swiping, you’ll instantly see who matches or likes you back and then, you can go straight to talking. Simple, right?
As easy as online dating apps sound, it’s not actually guaranteed that you’ll find true love or whatever it is you’re looking for. I’ve learned a lot from my own journey with online dating apps, and the different kinds of people I’ve met along the way. And if I only knew then what I know now, I could have avoided some wasted time and energy, and prevented myself from making stupid mistakes and decisions I lowkey regret to this day. Anyways, that’s why I’m helping you now by sharing 12 Things You Need to Know Before Trying Online Dating Apps.
Let me paint a picture of what it’s like to be in dating apps and let you in on a few secrets. There’s nothing to be scared of. You’ve got this and I’ll fill you in on everything you need to know.
12 Things You Need to Know Before Trying Online Dating Apps
I will be using non-binary pronouns “they/them/their” throughout the blog because online dating apps, and love is for everyone: LGBTQIA+, the straight girls and fine, the straight guys too.
1. There’s no judgement. Everyone on dating apps are open to talking.
That’s right. It’s completely normally during this day and age to be on online dating apps. You’re widening your options for love or people to possibly have a relationship with. You’re growing your circle to more than just your friends or people you see in school or at the office.
Everybody you see on dating apps signed up to meet with people who are open to connect just like you did. So, don’t be shy or afraid to send the first message or make the first move. You never know how far a simple “Hi” can take you…
2. People are more than their pictures.
The first thing we see before deciding to swipe right or left on someone is their pictures. Of course, each has their own preference when it comes to looks. Just remember that people are more than their physical appearance. Also, not everyone takes IG-worthy pictures of themselves. Best not equate your attraction to how good a profile picture looks.
Take some time to read their bio or description. One or two things that call your attention are enough to give the person a chance. And yeah, you can always swipe right, and just get to learn more about each other through chat. If you guys match up, and then you can decide if you like the person.
3. Not everyone has the same intention.
Everybody on the app has their own intentions. Some are looking for love and a serious relationship. Some are looking for hookups or someone to casually flirt with. Others are just looking for friends or people to talk. Of course, there are also those who are just bored or don’t really know what they want.
Whatever their intentions are, make sure that you’re being careful. You can go along with the flow, but do know your limits. If a serious relationship is what you’re looking for, and your match isn’t open to that, then it is best to move on.
4. Don’t give too much of yourself away too soon.
Always try and start off the conversation with light and fun topics. Do not give away personal data or reveal intimate details of your life, okay? You need to be careful about the information you give out. Aside from that, you shouldn’t share stories that are too personal to strangers you might not be able to turn to at another time.
Don’t be closed off and rude about this though. Just be casual, and friendly. Try to divert to fun or engaging topics that will pique their curiosity in getting to know you for a longer period of time.
Never give your trust right away. This is true not only in online dating, but for anybody you decide to bring into your life. Trust is something to be earned over a period of time. It shouldn’t be surrendered willingly to random people who may just end up disregarding or taking advantage of it. Always be smart, careful and choose to prioritize your own well-being.
5. Yes, you are not the only person they’re talking to.
Since you have a wider pool of people to choose from, that means that you might just be one of the people they’re talking to. Don’t be fooled. Just because you guys have been talking for hours, every day, that doesn’t mean that they’re not talking to somebody else or that they’ve stopped swiping all together.
One of the bad things about online dating is how it makes everyone easily replaceable. Once a person gets bored of you, they have another set of people to talk to. Don’t let this discourage you though. Just use this knowledge to your advantage. Never settle on one person until you’re 100% sure.
Ghosting is a term from online dating which means to suddenly disappear.
Some conversations don’t continue because both parties might not have found something in common or have gotten too busy to reply. That is not ghosting because you guys lost touch before attachments were made.
Ghosting is when you’ve grown attached to a person you’ve met online, and then they chose to disappear. You can be chatting or getting close to someone one moment and then, poof! They’re gone one day without an explanation. They don’t reply to your messages or even go as far as blocking all of your social media accounts. It’s like they never existed. Another common example of ghosting is standing you up on the first date or meet-up without any notice whatsoever. (Read my blog on First Date Tips When You Finally Meet Your Online Match).
Well, people do ghosting because it’s so easy. But as common as ghosting is on online dating, it’s never nice though. If you don’t like talking to someone or can’t see them as more than a friend, isn’t it better to just go and say that?
Catfishing is another thing you should be wary of on online dating. Some people are not who they say they are. They might be using pictures of other people to attract you into talking to them. They might also be pretending, or giving you false information about themselves which can be dangerous. If you ever sense that someone is catfishing you, best to just leave them right away. You shouldn’t waste a second of your time for liars and manipulators like that.
8. Online Dating Burnout
Being on online dating apps can be exhausting. Introducing yourself and getting to know new people can be repetitive. You lose your spirit when you try and do something again and again and get nothing out of it. Because of this, some people might not be as enthusiastic to talk to you as you are to them.
Because of this, it may be a bit more difficult getting an actual conversation started. Don’t let this discourage you though. Don’t hesitate to take the lead. Be friendly and candid so that you guys can warm up to each other. If you sense that the person is still not putting any effort or is uninterested, and then it is best to go.
9. Don’t believe 100% of what they say.
No matter how close you think you are with you the person you’re talking to, try not to believe them just yet. Don’t grow attached or hope that they’ll go through with the promises they might have made. I mean, it is so easy for people to just leave one second, and never own up to their words at all. They have literally nothing to lose.
Actually for online dating, it is best to not have any expectations all. Expectations will only lead to disappointment or heart break. Just carry your openness and let things and people surprise you.
10. You are not everybody’s type, but you’re still cute tho!
I’m sure you’re beautiful or handsome, and you probably have a superb personality. You just have to accept the fact that you’re not everybody’s type. That’s okay. In online dating, you will face rejection, and you have to be secure with yourself to handle that. Keep being yourself, and don’t change yourself for anybody ever!
Do not feel bad for the guys you liked who were too foolish to give up a chance to get to know you. Know that there isn’t anything wrong with you. It’s their loss. I know that it’s kind of common for us humans to go after people who don’t like us. Apparently, we always want something we know we can’t have! Funny and depressing, right?
We should realize our worth though. Let’s learn that we should be loved and treated like how we deserve. Don’t go settling for one-side love, okay? There is no correct answer to Yeng Constantino’s famous song, “Mahal Ko o Mahal Ako?” (The person who I love or the person who loves me?” It’s got to be Mahal Ka Din (The person who loves you too). Look for a someone who feels the same way you do. It might be hard, but love will come your way. I mean, you already opened your doors for it.
11. People on dating apps are actually real people…
I might be stating the obvious, but it is important to be reminded of this from time to time. There will be instances when because you’ve been using dating apps for quite a while or been talking to a lot of people, that you may no longer see them as more than matches, pictures, chat bubbles or notifications on your phone.
Know that they are real people who have emotions and live their own lives. They don’t only exist on your phone or have the availability to talk to you as often as you want (even if they’d like to). Some make take some time or fail to reply to you because of their busy schedules or other agendas. Sometimes, the only reason two people did not hit it off is because of poor timing and rotten luck. Do know that if someone really likes you, they will make time and effort to get to know more of you.
Just because you had a bad experience with one guy, doesn’t mean that everyone on the app is like that. Every person on apps is different, and part of the fun is getting to know them and seeing if you guys hit it off.
12. Have Fun. Don’t take Online Dating too seriously.
I am not discouraging you from trying online dating apps as scary as it might seem. Even with everything I’ve warned you about, it is important to consider that there are no rules. You are still free to do what you want because it is your life. There isn’t an official instruction guide to properly use online dating apps or a formula to find your true love there.
Don’t take online dating too seriously, and just have fun being out there. Meeting and talking to new people can be super delightful and exciting when you open yourself up to it. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or on the people you talk to. Go with the flow and see where it leads you. Take your own journey with online dating and hopefully, you will be led to find whatever you’re looking for.
Also know that love is a risk. So when you’re at the brink of something possibly great, you must be brave or else nothing will really happen. To love, you must be willing to give it all you have, even if it means possibly getting hurt. That’s it! I am wishing you all the luck in the world because most of time, it’s really just up to luck.
If you want to learn more about my fun little journey with online dating apps, read Gay Online Dating: A Tell-All for the Hopeless and Introverted, Did I Regret Going Back to Dating Apps? – An Online Dating Tell-All, and It’s Finally Time to Move On from Online Dating.
If you’re about to meet a potential love interest from dating apps, read 7 First Date Tips When You Finally Meet Your Online Match!
If you’re moving on from someone you met on dating apps, read 11 Steps to Finally Get Over Your Quarantine Fling! (or Someone You Met on Dating Apps).
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