What day are you having today? Is it a good day or a bad day? Did you wake up refreshed and ready for the day ahead, or did you hit snooze a bit many times just to squeeze in some extra minutes of sleep?
I can’t blame you. Being a functioning human being in this day and age is super exhausting, given everything we do just to survive. These days, I feel like my body is nothing but a bunch of moving parts. We’ve been programmed to serve in a capitalist society and wired to equate our worth to how much money we earn. No matter how hard we work even if we literally stay up for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, we can never be as wealthy as the people we work for.
Money and status aren’t everything. There’s more to life. But knowing that we are just a speck of dust in the vast empty space that is the universe, is anything even really worth it?
If you’ve gone this far and are trying to predict what I’m trying to say with this blog, I’m sorry. I got nothing. I just wanted to describe what I’ve been feeling the past couple of weeks. It’s this weird feeling like I’m floating through my days, looking for something out there to hold on to. The answers I have are suddenly irrelevant, and I’m literally out of ideas.
Sadness is my default setting. I’m often surprised by good days and always expect that something incredibly wrong to happen next. It’s as if we aren’t deserving of happiness or every good thing comes at a price. The happier I am in the moment, the more dread washes over me knowing that this will end.
We go back to the lives we have, watching as more days go by day. Day by day. The same things again and again. There are good days when we feel like we did something right. Then, there are bad days when it seems like we’ve made nothing but mistakes. We seek an escape, but our problems just seem to follow us wherever we go.
Shifting my perspective a bit…
These days I’ve noticed that the more time I spend outside of my head, the better I feel. Things don’t seem so bad, and life becomes somewhat enjoyable. Like when I push my body through an intense workout, I’m rewarded with a more chemically balanced brain and I’m suddenly in a better mood than I was all day. When I find a reason to get up from my bed and get moving, I can somehow get away from that sad corner of my brain. I need more ways for the overthinking to stop, for the voices to stop telling everything that’s wrong with me and the world.
It would be nice to have the freedom to enjoy the outside world with no lingering worries about our health and safety. I look forward to those days again. I want to be my friends, to feel the welcome comfort of their company. I wanna talk about things that don’t matter and completely vanish in conversations filled with teasing and laughter. Drop us off on an island far away without any signal to finally give us the chance to stop checking social media and completely turn our phones off. I wanna get to enjoy the outside world again like we are meant to and rekindle the adventurous part of life!
Well until that day comes, we’d just have to find the reason to keep going. More than being happy, life is about being grateful for the little things that happen in our everyday. Appreciate how the cool wind greets you when you open the window in the morning. Look into the eye of the people you love and cherish your time together while you still have some. Instead of counting down the days waiting for your next paycheck, embrace the moment that is happening now. Let’s find the warmth in the mundane and familiar, and snuggle in the assurance that “things are going to be okay”.
What am I saying exactly? I don’t know..
As a writer, I look at life from a much wider perspective. I try to understand everything at a deeper level, but there is beauty in the answers we can’t have. I’ve learned that with hope comes pain, but to live without hope is the death of our soul. For our lives to keep having meaning, we have to take that risk to keep holding on to hope, no matter how many times we get hurt.
Life continues on and our days will go by one after the other. We don’t know what’s gonna happen today or tomorrow, but we can hope for the best. Be brave and stand strong in the face of trials. Rejoice in the victories and relish in the delightful moments no matter how quickly they pass by. There will be good days, bad days, and days when you’re not even sure what to feel.
How will you decide to live your life from now on? Well, that’s completely up to you. Try to always have something specific to look forward to in the future, but also enjoy your journey as you make your way towards them. Sprinkle in some fun and spontaneity. Reward yourself with breaks from your routines as often as you can and awaken that part of yourself that is thirsty for life and the open possibilities.
Hold on, alright? I feel like it’s gonna be one bumpy ride. Let’s have some fun.
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In retrospect, most things and events make sense. It’s like flying over the jungle: From a distance, you can see all those trails but down there, you feel trapped.
Understanding everything at a deeper level is good to help deal with it.
That is really so positive post. I agree all days are not same good days and bad days are part of it.
I have been feeling this way for the past 2 months. I have so much I want to do, but don’t want to do it all at the same time.