I’m Christian Foremost, a Filipino Blogger/Writer/Podcaster and mental health advocate who writes personal stories of growth, life advice, and refreshing perspectives to inspire you to love yourself. I promote daily journaling as a healthy outlet to express and explore one’s honest thoughts and feelings. The path towards self-discovery and actualization starts by acknowledging your truths and facing your problems head-on.
I will be using non-binary pronouns “they/them/their” throughout the blog because online dating apps and love is for everyone: LGBTQIA+, the straight girls and fine, the straight guys too.
Won’t the world just be a better place if we’re all friends? In the Online Dating World though, you never really know what that means. The only sure thing is you better pack up all of your feelings, clear away any hope you may have of a future together, bid goodbye and well-wishes and then, hop on the next bus to move on.
Why does he want to just be “Friends”?
You have to be really lucky to find someone who will love you or share the same feelings you have. Do they like you in the same way you like them? Or, are you actually the only one feeling “something”? Maybe the words they said that made your heart flutter were only phrases they give freely to everyone they talk to. Trust your gut, what does it tell you?
It’s not that they’re not interested in you, they’re just not fully invested in the idea of actually being with you. There has to be some sort of match beyond compatibility. You have to have at least the same level of interest and investment in each other and then, you can start to figure out what being together means for you guys.
It is not bad to suggest being “Just Friends”. It’s decent.
Once you’ve come to the inevitable end of your time together, one may suggest being “just friends”. Yes, it might hurt and your heart might break just a bit, especially if you’ve started getting feelings for the person. Try not to be bitter or hold some sort of grudge about this, okay? Being honest and clear of their intentions is only fair and actually polite. To acknowledge the time you had together and the things you shared for the time that you did shows compassion. At least, they had the decency to explain so it should be perfectly acceptable.
At least you weren’t ghosted or left hanging up high at the climax of all of these emotions, only to quickly fall to the bottom with no one there to catch you. There would just be silence and uncertainty of a story cut short too soon. Jerks who ghost people like that don’t deserve even another thought!
It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you
If ever you did have one-sided feelings for the person, it’s their loss. It is not your fault at all. You aren’t an ugly and unlikeable person. You did nothing wrong and you shouldn’t blame yourself for ruining a relationship you could have had together. Don’t wish that you could have had a different face, a different body or a different life. Never think of yourself as not enough because you’re amazing just the way you are.
You just have to face the fact that you’re “not everyone’s cup of tea” and that’s completely fine. You’ll meet that perfect person for you in the perfect place and at the perfect time. And won’t they just be so lucky to have such a catch as you?
Do you actually stay friends?
Yes and no. There are some people who mean what they say. Even if you don’t talk as often as you used to, you are still free to chat them up whenever or catch up from time to time. I would suggest remaining social media friends on Instagram or Facebook so that you can stay updated on each other’s lives. React or comment on their post or even reply to their IG stories or FB MyDays to get fun conversations started again. I’m especially very thankful for a couple of friends I’ve met through the dating app that I can still turn to even if it’s been so long since we last talked.
I do admit that most guys who I agreed to just be friends with from dating apps have lost touch entirely. It’s not for the lack of trying. It’s just that they have busy lives, I think. It’s completely understandable. It does suck, because you spend all of this time getting to know these people, and then, you’re suddenly out of their lives just like that.
It’s kind of unfair how opening up to someone through chat is as easy as being cast off, ignored, or simply forgotten the next second. That may be the reality of Online Dating, but since we’re just friends, isn’t that supposed to be different? Nevertheless, the bond and the memories made will always be treasured at the back of my mind.
Being “Just Friends” shouldn’t be the end.
You can meet so many great people in dating apps. You can meet someone who understands: someone who is like you and has been through what you’ve been through. I guess I’m talking about the sort of connection you don’t exactly need romantic love for. It’s not entirely physical, but more of an intellectual and emotional connection. There’s genuine empathy and tireless fun conversations about the world and everything deep within it. There’s never judgment, just familiarity, I guess? It’s like being able to recognize yourself in other people as you keep on finding your soulmate over and over again.
You’re still the same person you introduced yourself as. You’re still the same person they have gotten to know for some time. You’re still the same person who was there to listen, care, and support. Wouldn’t that be enough to keep a stranger like you in their life, even just as friends? I wish that would not be forgotten.
Being “Just Friends” is easier!
I mean, being just friends can even be easier now that there’s no pressure of having feelings in the mix. I feel like it’s worth. Call each other “besties” and vent about the different people you’re crushing on. You might just need a friend you can trust who will always be there no matter what, than an actual relationship you will possibly only turn yourself crazy for.
I have huge respect for people who decided to just be friends with me. I wish nothing but the best for everyone. I hope that they may find the perfect partners and be in a long-lasting perfect relationship, even if they didn’t exactly choose to be me. Haha. I’m still the friend who will cheer you on until the end!
This is a long life we have and yes there might only be room for one person to be your forever, but you can have as many friends as you want. Enough friends to fill a club. Let’s party!
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Friendship will last forever while relationships don’t last long if you are not destined with each other.Dating apps are well known in this generation, some are lucky to meet their soulmate and some are not. Nothing wrong with it as long as the users know how to be careful.
Prado Arturo Navarro Bognot
It is actually hard to be “friends” with a former lover unless… you really share a lot of hobbies and interests (not just looks). 🙂
In my experience, the rules of the game are different for online dating since its more of a casual activity.
I suggest you meet people in events (that interest you) instead. It’ll be easier to build genuine connection with that. And who knows? Maybe you’ll find your soul mate or something, haha
This article made me smile… Well, i dont know it reminds me of my younger days back in the day when you cant find the perfect person for you.
Though I havent tried online dating, i think i could suggest this to my sister.
Ma Theresa Montino Martinez
Is it a misconception to think that dating apps are for people looking for relationship? Because that’s what I think so, really. I never tried it but really thinking that it might be interesting.
Never tried dating apps. Never been friends with my exes, too. The best way to move on, for me, is to totally lose touch with an ex.
Jellybeans in the City
Having closure, even if it’s through the “let’s just be friends” line, is a lot better than sporadic meetings or worse, pretending you never met because it became too awkward.
Nope, I’m not talking from experience… or am I?
When you are young, better explore and enjoy because eventually along the way, as you mature, it will be easy for you to pick the right one. Dating shouldn’t be stressful. Making it so leads many to wrong decisions.
Joan Tapiz Maniago
I agree, It’s better than be ghosted. Atleast your relationship ended up to a more stable one – friendship💛
Karla Niña Mallannao
I never tried meeting friends from dating apps. I like the usual way of getting to know each other. Hehe
Mikhaela Alyssa Adarve
I once tried to find people in dating app but then it is just for language exchange experience. haha
Nicole San Miguel
I never tried meeting people through dating apps but I know a few people who are using it but not for friendship.
Awryt! Cheers to friendship!
I am curious about meeting people through dating apps. It was not the thing during my time, hihihi.
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