I’m Christian Foremost, a Filipino Blogger/Writer/Podcaster and mental health advocate who writes personal stories of growth, life advice, and refreshing perspectives to inspire you to love yourself. I promote daily journaling as a healthy outlet to express and explore one’s honest thoughts and feelings. The path towards self-discovery and actualization starts by acknowledging your truths and facing your problems head-on.
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Me? Desperate for Love?
Guilty! I’m the type of friend who would complain again and again about wanting a romantic partner. I want to experience falling in love like the way they show in books and movies. I want that so bad and I’m ready. I’ve checked the self-love box and I’m fully capable of sorting out my issues on my own. I don’t need anyone to complete me so yeah, now is actually about the best time for my soulmate to come into the picture so we can spend happily ever after together. Let me pour all my love and affection into another person because there are lots to spare!
But nope…. It’s not that easy and the fact of the matter is, not everybody wants that love and affection you’re willing to give. Nobody wants attachments and the work of an actual relationship. A lot of people are afraid of commitment and run the other way at the mere mention of plans for the future. Promises are nothing but lies, and expectations lead straight to disappointments. Can you believe that at our age, most people are still immature, and treat dating like a game of “who breaks the most hearts win”?
It Doesn’t Get Better
It’s also doesn’t help to be an overthinker. My mind works so fast that I’ve already imagined an entire future with the guy I’m talking to before he’s even gotten to telling me his last name. The longer you talk with someone, the more paranoid you get because you know it’s only going to hurt more when everything ends out of nowhere. And of course, it ends like that because it always does and you’re used to it.
And, you can only get left behind and have your heart broken enough times until you eventually give up on the idea that there’s actually someone meant for you. The only thing you’ll probably have for forever is yourself and maybe a temptation to adopt a cat or seven. Hahaha.
Aside from the trust and abandonment issues I’ve developed so far, a pressing concern that may seem obvious to you guys at this point is my impatience. When I set my mind on something like a goal, the hard work begins, and there is no way that I won’t get what I want. And I have to tell you, this does not work at all when it comes to dating. If who you want doesn’t want you back, there’s no point no matter how much work or effort you put in. You’re basically just hurting yourself.
Over it. So Over It!
So now, it’s time for some real talk. I’m tired of feeling sorry for myself for something I can’t have. I’m exhausted from wasting my energy hoping that the guy I’m talking to might also want a relationship. I’m done letting people in when they have no intention of staying for longer than a second.
Let’s forget about all of that and shift our perspective entirely. Being single is actually great and finding someone to be in a relationship with shouldn’t be a goal! Maybe it’s even better to be single for as long as you can?
I’m not saying that you should turn into the people who hurt you, even if that sounds like what’s happening to me. It’s not like that. My point is you shouldn’t feel less about yourself just because it seems like the majority of the male population doesn’t like you back. Be proud of who you are and know that whoever you end up being with will be the luckiest guy in the world. If someone doesn’t discover and appreciate your worth, better not waste your time on them. Reserve your heart for someone who actually deserves you.
Enjoy Being Single While You Can
Take advantage of the freedom you have and go after everything you want out of life. Pursue your passion and kill it at work. Make big purchases and spoil yourself with material things because there’s nothing holding you back. You’ve got no one to worry about but only yourself and your own problems. There’s no need to care about anything else ~
Being single also doesn’t mean that you’re alone. You’ve got your friends and family, and you can still go on dates. Continue dating and meeting people without any expectations at all. Always keep it chill and go along with the flow. If they leave, let them. If they only want to play, go and have some fun…
When someone comes along with a pure intention of being in a relationship with you, they’ll make an effort to be with you. Never settle for the bare minimum, and know that you deserve to receive as much love as you give, if not more. Love will come and things may not go according to plan, but you figure it out as you go along. Let falling in love be a slow journey with time strengthening your bond together.
Don’t close any doors, but don’t go waiting by the front porch for your destiny to finally come home. Go and live your life indoors and outdoors doing things that you love and enjoy with people you care about. Good things will come into your life. That is for sure. Just let them surprise you, okay?
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I have been single for a long time and haven’t been seeking a relationship since 2010. I am just happier by myself. I don’t need someone else to make me happy.
Very well said! For those waiting , it’s indeed right , enjoy being single while you are , because when you’re in the relationship and/or settled already no turning back unless for some unfortunate reasons. Always remember, for those NO now is because, God’s preparing the best .
complete yourself first before entering into a relationship. plus, never ever settle for less. 🙂
My parents push me to be get married and have kids. But, I am very happy being single! I actually do a lot to help the community as I have no commitments.
All I know and i have learnt is that there is no greater love than self love, so being single is absolutely cool as long as you love yourself, nothing else matters. So enjoy!