I will be using non-binary pronouns “they/them/their” throughout the blog because online dating apps, and love is for everyone: LGBTQIA+, the straight girls and fine, the straight guys too.
Is your quarantine fling or “quaranfling” still talking to you? Has the excitement of meeting on online dating apps and getting to know each other turned into frustrating dry conversations and promises likely to be broken? I’m sorry about that.
Do you think it’s time to let go of the hope that you guys will actually meet each other in person? Unrequited feelings always hurt, but you have to prioritize your own well-being. Moving on is a difficult journey, but a path you have to take to heal and become stronger. You can do this!
The Quarantine Made People Get Into Online Dating!
This pandemic has made dating and meeting people in the real world impossible. Being in quarantine for months has led a lot of people to try online dating apps. You can really feel lonely when you’re isolated in your own home with no one to talk to. It’s boring and we humans crave for human interactions and conversations. And, online dating apps are great because you’ll meet a lot of people who are open to connect. One just has to be cautious because some people don’t have the best intentions in there.
I’ve written a bunch of blogs sharing my experience with online dating, but this current situation we’re in has truly changed a lot of things. Even if you like someone you matched with on the dating app, you can’t meet them in person to see if you’re actually compatible. And, the thing is you won’t even know when it is actually safe to meet! This triggers overthinking, paranoia, anxiety and you have to deal with an unbelievable test of patience and trust.
I’m happy for couples or people who met on dating apps during quarantine who still manage to be together. I applaud you guys. This blog isn’t for you though. This blog is for us guys who are/were broken, and feel like we’ve wasted so many months clinging for someone who didn’t care enough about us after all. Ouch. I’m sorry. Haha.
11 Steps to Finally Get Over Your Quarantine Fling or Someone You Met on Dating Apps!
This week, I’m sharing with you guys 11 Tips on How to Get Over Your Quarantine Fling or Someone You Met on Dating Apps. These tips are based only from my personal experience so please take it with a grain of salt. I’m sharing the steps I took as I slowly made myself forget, allowed myself to heal and got myself to get up and take life head on.
1. Do Not Message them Anymore
I know it’s tempting, but you have to stop yourself. Chatting them is not worth it anymore. The long hours of agony waiting for their cold reply? Will they even bother to open your message? They’re clearly online, but they can’t spare a second to reply? If they leave you at “seen” or “delivered”, will that be okay with you? No, so don’t do it. The person is avoiding you or has other matters far more important than you. So no, it is not right to “bother” them anymore.
2. Hide your Online Status
Hiding your online status will also hide you from seeing others’ online status. This removes your focus from constantly wondering what they must be doing instead of replying. Make yourself not readily available and distant. After a couple of days, you’ll notice yourself caring less and less, and that’s a good thing!
3. Mute them in Social Media
The next thing is to mute them in all of your social media accounts: Instagram, Facebook, Twitter etc. Don’t watch their Instagram stories anymore, read their tweets, or like any of their posts. Remove their presence from your timeline or feed entirely. Out of sight, out of mind. You don’t need to know how their day went anymore if they aren’t willing to tell you themself anymore. Make yourself less and less interested by removing your eyes from their life.
4. Hide Your Chats and Delete the Pictures from Your Phone
Hide or archive your conversations. Stop opening it again and again, checking if you might have missed his reply. You didn’t. They might as well never message you again at this point so better bury your conversation ten feet under the ground.
No. I repeat do not scroll back or read your messages to each other during the first few weeks of meeting. Don’t look back on your memories thinking you have something to hold on to. You don’t. The words you’ve exchanged may have meant something during that time, but now they hold no value whatsoever. Why? Because they weren’t backed up by actions.
If and when you’re ready, delete your chat messages or conversations with each other. Trash all the pictures they sent you or the screenshots of your video calls in your phone’s gallery. There’s no use in keeping them. If you can’t do that yet, you may store or keep them for now in a place you wouldn’t easily get to. I would suggest in a diary, or in your phone’s Notes app.
5. You Can Write a Letter to them, but Never Send it
You might have some unresolved feelings or a line up of questions you want answers to. That’s completely valid and you shouldn’t ignore your own heartache. If you have stuff you need to say to them, go ahead and write them a letter. Tell him everything. Write it all down, but don’t send it. Keep it to yourself. You just need to release all of these thoughts and feelings so that they won’t get stuck circling around and around in your mind. I also recommend daily journaling because it’s super helpful in managing your thoughts and feelings.
If on a lonely night, you have the sudden impulse to message them, type out your message in your notes app. Again, just don’t send it. They don’t deserve to hear from you anymore.
6. Limit your Time on Social Media
This is one of the best things you can do. Try to spend less and less time on social media. You may check out my blogs on social media breaks or limiting social media using with Screen Time for iOS. You need to take a time out from your phone. Stop spending long hours scrolling on your phone. That will only make you feel more isolated and depressed. Get up and try to do something in the real world maybe it be household chores, workouts or a brand new hobby.
7. Spend More Time Chatting with Friends
If you need someone to talk to, reach out to your friends. You don’t even need to talk about the person. Actually, it is best not to. Instead, check up on each other and how you guys are doing now with the pandemic and all of the other screwed-up things happening in our world right now. These are tough times and we need our friends more.
8. Fall In Love with Fictional Characters Instead
If you just want someone to love, I would suggest being obsessed with fictional characters instead. Read a book or binge a Netflix series or Korean dramas. Like, it is better to pine after fictional characters because it’s completely harmless. You can even fantasize about them however you want and you’ll never get hurt. Am I right?
9. Learn How to Love Yourself
Take this time for yourself. The one thing you should realize is meeting or having a relationship with the person isn’t going to magically fix your life and make you feel better. They will not be the solution to everything. Take this time to get to know yourself. Know the things you love about yourself and the issues you need to work on. Spoil yourself with well-deserved treats and take yourself out on me-dates from time to time.
10. Focus on your Own Plans and Goals
You have other more important things to do than wasting your time thinking about a single person. What are the things you always wanted to do or achieve? Go and start doing them now. Learn a new hobby or slowly work toward your goals. If you need help with that, here are my 7 Tips to Take Action and Achieve Your Dreams.
11. Live your Life
Learn to enjoy your life, even if you’re by yourself. You don’t need anyone to be happy and you can accomplish so much on your own. Try to enjoy the moments you have with yourself. Create memories with the people around you, your loved ones and friends. Break free and go after everything life has to offer. There’s so much out there to discover and love.
Wishing You the Best of Luck in Moving On!
That’s it. I hope that these 11 Steps to Finally Get Over Your Quarantine Fling or Someone you Met on Dating Apps were able to help you guys! Again, don’t rush yourself because moving on is a process that can take time. It’s going to be extremely hard at first, but trust me, its going to get easier after a while. And then, you’ll come to the point where you no longer think about the person at all. And, that’s a beautiful thing.
We all deserve love in this world, and maybe now isn’t the best time to be in a relationship. This pandemic sucks and I want it to end the moment I wake up the next day. Just don’t even wait for love to come into your life. Just live your life and let love come to your merry way.
Bye guys and virtual kisses!
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